Walks lightly.

eins.
最近很愛把耳機堵着耳朵.
诶, 也不是說最近很愛. 是一直以來都愛, 只是最近比較常這樣做.
一直戴着到耳朵疼.
一直戴着到自己不知不覺睡着, 半夜起身的時候才發現 Ed Sheeran 還在唱歌.
一直戴着到我覺得戴耳機是件很不健康的事.

好吧, 這幾天儘量不要戴著耳機就是了.
這幾天儘量不要把自己帶到另一個空間就是了.

zwei.
剛讀完 The Fault In Our Stars.
沒有像其他人說的一樣哭得那麼慘. 應該這麼說吧, 我只是眼泛淚. 不是我的 fault 吧 ?
但是這本書確實不錯看, John Green 會要妳讀的時候想很多, 自己慢慢去理解. 然後當你明白他所要表達的 idea, 那些文字就會大大地咬你一口, 你會疼.

" You don't get to choose if you get hurt in this world, but you do have some say in who hurts you. "

很有意思的一句話...

drei.

" You get all these friends just when you don't need friends anymore. "

我是 ' you ' , 也是那些 ' friends ' .

vier.

其實很多事情不用說我就懂. 

我懂, 我真的懂 (:

funf.

 " Everything wasn't meant to be chased.

Certain things were made to be admired from afar. "

sechs.

我以前真的很執著於 belongingness 這個東西.

後來我發現當你 officially belonged to 一個地方, 一群人還是一些事 , 這一切也並不足於代表你真的屬於一份子.
你只是怕不被需要, 被忘記, 所以你需要一個能夠感受到自己存在的地方.
屬於你的地方.
To belong or not to belong, 我想只有自己知道吧

" Walks lightly upon the earth "

" Leaves a lesser scar "

或許我該學會怎樣輕輕地活在每個人的身邊.
輕輕地, 靜靜地, 就好.

sieben.
Colbie Caillat 問你

Why should you care what they think of you ?

When you're all alone by yourself, do you like you ?

acht.

你把不良的情緒掛在臉上, 你真的很不成熟.

neun.

你從來不會因為讀着別人快樂時寫的文字而快樂, 但卻會在自己傷心時讀着別人傷心時寫的心情後覺得好多了.

zehn.
德國隊捧世界杯, 要是你好奇的話, 這些號碼 是德文 :)

Gute nacht (:

只是寒喧.

嘿 , 好久不見.
真的好久好久不見了. 離開這裡四個月了, 我在想你有時候會不會進來逛逛我家, 然後想我為甚麼那麼久沒更新了.
不管是想念我, 還是我的文字, 只要是還會被你記得, 我就已經很滿足了.
因為生活很忙, 我沒這個能力去想很多人和事,包括你.
我回來了, 擁抱一下好不好 ? (:

友誼就是從來都不會想起, 但永遠都不會忘記的一回事.

這四個月裡發生了很多事,
你想聽嗎?

四月

1. 我不知道該從哪裡說起.
2. 我永遠都不會忘記今年的四月很難很難熬.
3. 那是個塞滿小考的四月.
4. 我記得我很壓力.
5. 然後壓力帶你走.
6. 你把笑聲帶給了你身邊的每一個人, 一點都不留給自己.
7. 傻孩子.
8. 我想念你.
9. 一直都會.
10. 林可晟, 你好嗎?

四月有很多我還沒來得及說再見的人, 他們就匆匆地離開了.

給 Phei Yi, Zhi San, Kek, QinYi & Nicholas , 

近來如何? 有點想念大家.

記得要加油, 要過得好好的 :) 

五月

1. 我二十一歲.
2. 照片裡的她們提早幫我慶祝生日.

3. 她們把唱K的房間放滿充着氦氣的氣球，選的顏色都是我喜歡的.

4. 其實那天妳們給我的這份驚喜我有哭，我只是沒給妳們看到，哈哈.

5. 因為我真的很開心.

6. 我還記得那天我們帶著二十一粒氣球在 Pavilion 裡亂逛，然後把大部份的氣球都派給了在逛街的小朋友.

7. 他們和我一樣開心。

8. 回到宿舍的時候我們幾個在游泳池旁邊放氣球許願.

9. 然後剩下的幾粒氣球我們把氦氣給吸了，聽對方的聲音變的有多麼的搞笑.

10. 我從小就很羨慕別家的小孩能握着會飛的氣球在街上亂走，自己的卻是用塑料枝支撐的.成年的這一天能夠抓到小時候握不到的氣球感覺真的還不錯，呵呵.

謝謝你們給了我那麼難忘的二十一 :)

六月

1. 大二第二學期大考
2. 這學期的大考超級壓力和害怕因為真的很怕自己應付不來.
3. 結果大考還沒到就病了兩個星期.
3. 我們通常會失敗的原因是因為我們的 Fear .
4. " 世界很大, 讀書是很小的事情罷了. 你努力不會有人看見, 可是你成功全世界都覺得你很厲害.最重要是你懂你努力了!"

 " Do what you can to fix it. "

這兩句話陪我熬過了大考.

5. 大考期間有一個禮拜是空的,所以很大膽的跑去Taylor Swift 的 Red Tour. 沒有後悔的說.
6. 然後考 Marketing 的前一天徹底崩潰, 因為真的不知道自己在讀什麼, 甚麼也記不起, 最後決定背 Summary 而已.
7. 進考場前差一點暈, 朋友給我吞裡一粒 Panadol.
8. 就這樣考完了.
9. 謝謝那些陪我一起熬過六月的人.
10. 謝謝你們讓我堅持半夜三更爬起來頂着燈讀書.

11. 不是很記得考完試後的自己是怎樣的. 好像太累然後沒有力氣開心,所以我們幾個決定在學校的食堂吃米粉湯,呵呵.
12. 考完試後一樣沒有的睡因為有太多事情還沒處理.
      我又搬家了. 如果說從 INTI 那時候算起的話, 我一共搬了八次. 太瘋了.
13. 再瘋的事情要聽嗎? 我可以衰到乘坐的德士在塞着車的高速公路死火.
14. 我坐在德士司機的駕駛座踩油門. 大概不是每個人都會有的經驗吧
15. Shu Xuan, Sue Yee 和我在高速公路推德士. 大概不是每個人都會有的經驗吧
16. 結果車的引擎還是不能啟動, 我們走高速公路.大概不是每個人都會有的經驗吧
17. 故事的結局是那位德士司機在我們走到半路的時候載回我們.
18. 然後他在車上稱讚我 active, berani mencuba.
19. 惡心的事是他說他喜歡我要請我吃飯.
20. 跟我告白的人是德士司機怪伯伯. 我的人生 ._.

給一位陪我度過很多像六月歲月的朋友, 妤蕙

很想念你. 下個學期你不在我和Sue Yee 怎麼辦 ? 期待我們下一次的見面.

你要好好照顧自己 (:

七月

1. 成績出了. 比我預料的好很多很多. Thank God (:
2. 下個學期開始我就上大三了 :D woohoo !
3. 現在是 semester break , 誰要帶我出去玩 ?
4. 我學會了做披薩, 熱狗麵包, red velvet cupcakes, chocolate cupcakes, honey cornflakes cuppies 和烤餅乾.
5. 在學着烏克麗麗.
6. 在讀着 John Green 寫的 The Fault in Our Stars 和橘子的 你想要的,只是我的後悔嗎?
7. 打到這裡不知道要寫甚麼诶, 哈囉熊秋婷! 我知道你在讀着. 哈哈. 讀書加油 :)
8. 最近睡前都需要聽歌.
9. 最近想讓自己很累很累, 要不然深夜像個傻子一樣不知道為甚麼自己睡不著.
10. 我們已經是屬於那種不想因為任何人或事產生任何情緒上失控的人.

1. 好想拋石頭.

2. 橘子問: " 兩個人,不勇敢, 怎麼愛? "

3. 我和以前的自己和好了.

4. " 如果別人是真的想給你, 直接會塞你手裡, 根本不會問你要不要."

                                                                                                               5. 這段期間你有沒有變得比以前更好?

                        6. " 我們總是說着沒營養的話, 然後沒腦筋的笑."

                               7.There is no shame in hoping for love. 

8. 妳不捨得放下吧, 妳怎麼捨得?

9. If it is worth fighting for, fight fiercely.

                                                                                                                 10. Hey, 累了就休息知道嗎 ?

晚

安
(:

Vacío

今晚什麼都不想做, 只是想好好的跟自己聊天.

不知不覺中走過了二月.
不知不覺中忘了那些人那些曾經計較的事

都在不知不覺中...

uno
回想起上個期假,回想起新年,回想起和家人到香港旅行,回想起 ABC Day...
那些回想起的事都發生沒多久,但感覺上卻好像過了好久, 有同感嗎?

dos
藥劑第二年第二學期, 第四個星期.
原來離開家已經一個月了.
每天傍晚老媽都會跟我通電話. 我記得我每次都會告訴她這學期每天都是早上八點的課, 除了累還是累. 她問我吃了沒有我會說等下會下去吃現在還那麼早, 她問我這個我就回答這個, 她問我那個我就說那個.
直到那天老媽多問了一句 "你有沒有想我? " 我才發現和她通話不能夠讓她覺得我對家的思念是滿滿的.
有時候真的很想給自己一巴掌,為甚麼不能關心老媽, 問她吃了沒,累不累... 就像老媽關心我一樣.

" 我想, 我當然想..."

tres
這學期必須到某家藥劑店做 attachment .
那藥劑師很好, 教了很多, 也讓我看得更清楚我前面的路.
我們走的路都不簡單, 但要是這些都是你想要的,或許到最後什麼都值得.

cuatro

好久沒運動了

當初想練腹肌的念頭早就不知道埋在了哪裡

想要卻不肯努力, 都是我們大家的弱點, 不是嗎?

cinco

我總是在害怕別人會不喜歡我.

因為有時候我也會被我看不起.

seis
我需要大家知道不是每個人都二十四小時處在快樂的心情.
我也需要大家知道我一個小時不快樂不代表我整個人生都是傷心的.
我是人, 我的人生是由快樂與悲傷來平衡, 這是正常的.

siete
不要老是暗示我, 這樣我會活的很累.

ocho

我希望不管經歷過多少的不平以後, 對這世上每個人每件事的信任, 還是能夠慢慢的好起來.

nueve

" 別人稍一注意你,你就敞開心扉. 你覺得這是坦率,其實是因為孤獨症. "

diez
Everything you need is everything you have.
或許我們需要的,都已擁有.

不管多久以後,

這裡,

我終究會回來的地方.

晚安.

#FactsAboutMe

1. My name is Siah Sin Wei. 

Among my siblings , only two of my brothers have English name while we girls don't have ( I don't know why ) .

Most of my friends know that there's ' Emma ' in front of my name but in fact , it is not exist on my identification card. 

Why Emma?

Because I am a hardcore Emma Watson fan and I remember when I was standard six, I used to have a gang of girlfriends and they decided that everyone of us should have an English name starts with 'E'. 

2. It doesn't matter anyway because most of my primary school friends call me " super-ahma " , high school friends call me " ah ma" and now I am in university, my friends call me " aunty ". Some of them might have been friends to me for a few years not knowing / cannot remember my real name.

3. I was a head prefect back then when I was in primary school . But I wasn't discipline and I broke school rules most of the time . I remember there was once I had my breakfast in class during recess ( we are not allowed to stay in the class during break ) because I was too busy to make a birthday card for my dad. And eventually I caught by discipline teacher.

4. I have my first blog when I was 15 and I totally have no idea what I've written by reading back all those posts .

5. I can play piano and violin. Worse at strings. 

6. When I was a kid , I've always wanted to buy a harmonica. Right now, I cannot remember why I had this strong feeling of needing harmonica so much.

7. Purple is always my most favorite color . 

8. I dance. Now still , but not in public.

9. I don't like to go out clubbing. I know I am terribly weird but I really hate those lights that hurt my eyes, I can't stand the heat in those places and I am too embarrassed to dance. Don't get me wrong. I love loud music, meeting new people and having fun, but just not in a club. There's always a better way to meet people.

10. Another reason is because I don't like to dress in high heels or fancy dresses. I am physically unappealing and I look even uglier with make up. Don't worry, I am completely fine with that. And yes, people are going to judge you on how you look.

11.  I love to swim, love to run and cycle too. I like sport but I am not good at them . 

12. I have weird eyes, physically. 

I have single-eyelids until I was 17, my right eye turned out to have double eyelid until now . Sometimes they will turn back to single but most of the time they are double-single. They can be double-double , too. HAHAHA

13. London is the place that I would most like to visit.

14. I was a public speaker but now I am so afraid to speak in public.

15. I kept ants and fish as pets before.

16. I get anxiety when I have to meet people.

17. I love books but I don't like to read.

18. I take long showers. Like really long.

19. I can work really hard. I can be very very lazy.

20. Most scared of spiders.

21. My fingers are stupid. I cannot braid my own hair.

22. I have secrets that nobody knows.

23.  I hate pizza when I was a kid. Now pizza fixes every broken pieces of me.

24. There is a friend that I need to apologize because of what I did to her. I am really sorry.

25. I am obsessed with cleanliness and completely a neat freak, like it's gonna be a mental illness. I don't like it when people sit on my bed. You can be considered as a VIP if I didn't kill you when you do that. HAHA

26. I used to be very close with my primary school headmaster. We are friends. I remember there was once I called him to come and watch my regional public speaking contest. Eventually he came to show his support. :')

27. Jennifer Lawrence fandom.

28. I can watch Harry Potter ten times and still cannot get enough of it.

29. I learnt ballet before, but only for a short period. And all I can remember is skipping around the dancing room and doing the "frog" and " plucking apple " movements :/

30. I never dye my hair before.

31. Sometimes I wish I can just disappear from this world and not wanting anything in life.

32. But sometimes I don't.

33. Today is my mum's birthday (:

34. I love to draw.

35. Doing this is fun. Good night :D